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Monday, July 31 

RIP my trusted PC laptop.

For those of you who live in Calgary and were out and about on the weekend, ya'll know just how freakin windy it was. In fact, it was so windy that the patio table that I was using (and which was acting as a nice holder for my Nalgene bottle filled with Crystal Light iced tea) got knocked over and spilt onto my laptop. Yep, my 2-litre bottle dumped a couple mL of raspberry iced tea goodness all over my laptop. Wow. Boy did I ever cry. Not only is my keyboard not working, but it's as if the whole freakin motherboard inside the silly thing has decided to go on a permanent hiatus.

How happy am I? Not in the slightest. Now I don't have a laptop and besides the fact it was a PC*, it was doing a-ok.

Freakin freak frick frickity frack.


* PC - Piece of Crunk


From the good ol' Huffington Post - God these guys look alike...

Separated At Birth? Spot The Difference Between The Crazy Ranting Despot And The Crazy Ranting Director!


Sunday, July 30 

Well this is kinda funny in a sick messed up sort of way.

Exerpted from his blog:

"So, to the point of this wonderfully boring blog. Today on my way out to The Canal at Delacour, now one of my favourite courses, I was ripping east on Country Hills Boulevard doing about 130 in my pickup. For some reason lately, that little thing has a lot of jam, and its pretty fun. Well, not more than 5 minutes out of the corporate limits, and into the deep abyss of nothing but flat cropland, I heard a BANG! I didn't think much of it, besides the potential that my engine may have just blown up. But I kept going, got the course, winked at the girls in the proshop, hit some balls, and got on the course. Another good day and I shot 75, so I was pretty damn happy. I made a bunch of birdies, and long putts, so it wasn't too shabby. But I had five 3-putts. And those suck the biggest, sweatiest, italian ass you can think of. Well, that could have been sub-par round, but whatever. Maybe next weekend when I go back. So after shakin' hands with Adam, and going back to my truck I realized that there was yet another birdie to be had on the course. Or at least on the way to the course. The bird was stuck in the grill in my truck, after of course it smashed and cracked it. The bird was stuck in the grill by its feet, and part of its body was in the grill itself. A bird much larger than a chickadee, but smaller than a magpie. This little sucker got smoked, and it got stuck. So being the asshole that I am, I drove home with it on the grill hoping it would be there for a picture when I got home, and to show my brother and his girlfriend. Well I got a few pics, and then I took it off and got rid of it. So, unfortunately, as I see it, I could have had a season low round of two over par, if this birdie had been on the golf course instead of the grill of my 'powerful' truck."


Friday, July 28 

Mmm DMB.

Nothing better than this guy. This epic 4 cd set is available for pre-order. I would sure love it... I would sure love for him to come to Calgary more though.

I'd still love the cd though...


Wednesday, July 26 

My new book:

Finally it's for purchase. I've been reading her blog everyday and finally it's ready to buy.

Book Description

"I did have my own friends, my own salary, my health, and TiVo: all the important things we're likely to take for granted. Still, when it hit that I'd now have to date again, I panicked. Dating meant nightclubs, heels, and black. It meant, 'No, thank you. Really, I'm full.' It meant matching bras and underwear. Clothes with the micro used to describe them. Because until you date again, people will hiccup lines about getting back on horses. So you invest in an Agent Provocateur whip and a subscription to an online dating service. . . ."

--from Straight Up and Dirty

Oooh I can't wait. I ordered it via online at Chapters Indigo - said it would take 2-4 business days and uh... it was ordered on Monday. I think the 2 business days are up.


Tuesday, July 25 

If this guy doesn't end up in jail for the rest of his life and then some...

... then there is something seriously messed up with this judicial system. I can't even explain to you how much this case has bothered me - it literally makes me sick each time I read about it.

Update: Sent to jail indefinitely


Hot VW for sale

2001 White 2 door Golf GL 2.0 5 Speed
Made in Germany - not Mexico or Brazil

Black cloth and air conditioning
73,XXX km.
ABS, Dual front and side airbags

New rear brakes/rotors at 63k
Oil changed with German-made Lubro Moli full synthetic every 5k




Extras include:
Stubby antenna
Phatbox 20 GB digital music player with completely hidden custom mount - runs from stock stereo
35% tint on back three windows
Xenon headlight bulbs like new
"Aurora" 15" all season radials with steel wheels
OEM GTI Taillights (still have the stockers too)
Clear corner lights on the front
VAG COM (connect your car to a laptop to read all the codes and change settings, etc.)
18" BBS RCs wheels (VW spec) with VW centre caps - some curbage on two wheels with Pirelli P-Zero Nero
MS Z-rated tires with about 40-50% left.

This car has been awesome to me. $12,000 w/o BBS wheels, $13,700 with them. OBO
Call 83five-2500


Goddamn this stuff ain't good for you.

Never heard of DXM but if this is what it does to you compliments of the little alien dude, count me out.


Monday, July 24 

Cutest. Music. Video. Ever.



Scott showed this to me back last year. We played it over and over and over - I had the song stuck in my head for days.

It's one of those super cute, feel good, make you want to hug your dog, music videos.


Sunday, July 23 

At what point do the parents need to take some responsibility for their kids actions?

This bugs me.


Friday, July 21 

CFCN.ca has an interesting poll question today:

When should naturalized Canadian citizenship be revoked?
- If they haven't lived in Canada for more than 10 years
- If they don't pay Canadian taxes
- If they leave and admit they are not coming back to Canada
- Never, once Canadian citizenship is granted it should always remain in effect


View Results

I say: When they don't pay Canadian taxes.


You don't stage a peace rally by pissing off Friday afternoon commuters.

I'm not sure if they thought they would bring more attention to the issue or what - but when commuters who are trying to get home on a Friday afternoon can't because protesters are blocking key streets in downtown Calgary, it sure doesn't do much to make me want to sympathize with them.

What? Was Saturday booked for another protest?


Thursday, July 20 

Calgary Herald Q





My latest Herald piece: Canadians stuck in Lebanon should have known better.


Could this all be a result of global warming??

Maybe Mr. Al Gore actually was telling the truth about something. Nah, it's all just coincidence.

- Heatwave sweeps through EU, North America
- Heat waves death toll rises to 16
- Mt. Hood's Glaciers Melting Away
- Almost 500,000 without power in St.Louis as heat rises to 100 degrees
- Fire officials warn of heat wave
- Temperature to hit 100 degrees - and global warming is to blame
- ... Effect of human activity...
- Britians channel 4 planning to air a "Masterbate-A-Thon"





Another Calgary Herald rebuttal.

My daddy told me to tell him to piss up a rope. Heh heh heh.

Meh. He doesn't like my writing but I get ample emails each day from people who do like my writing.


Blogs Are Like Assholes. Everybody's Got One. And They All Stink.

Blogs Are Like Assholes. Everybody's Got One. And They All Stink.

The Pew Internet & American Life Project has released a big new study about blogging.

The bad news: Twelve million Americans (8 percent of Internet users) have blogs and 57 million (39 percent of Internet users) read the damn things. The main subject of 37 percent of blogs are a given blogger's "life and experiences." Fifty-two percent of bloggers are seeking to "express" themselves "creatively."


The good news: Only 11 percent of blogs focus on "politics and government."—Nick Gillespie

From Wonkette. Goddamn... and for a while there I was enjoying having a blog; thinking that I was one of the cool people on the block. Well now I feel like I'm in a field of blogging sheep.


Wednesday, July 19 

Silliest Idea. EVER.

Because when I'm losing my mind (and whatever is in my stomach) in the plane, I would really want to check out some advertisers bullshit on the puke bag.


Tuesday, July 18 

The Dane Cook - BK Lounge


If you haven't seen this yet, do yourself a favor.


Dear Daddy,

You intrigued me the other day when you sent me an email noting that the purse I had highlighted in one of my blogs was "unavailable at the time". Well, that got me thinking. Maybe you were searching for my birthday present early. Or you were thinking that maybe you should get me a present for the sake of getting me a present. I am happy to tell you that I found a new purse and it's even in stock!

This lovely Dolce & Gabbana number is available online from Saks Fifth Avenue. It's not that much really...

Love you!!






Democratic this.

Jeepers. I wish I could vote myself a pay increase.

I recently sent an email to my alderman, Ric McIver, in regards to the smoking bylaw which should be passed a year sooner and I clicked on the little box that says "Reply Requested" and yesterday I received an email from his assistant saying:

Thank you for taking the time to email your concerns and request for the smoking By-law. I will keep your email on file for Alderman McIver to review.
Take care and have a good day.


Sincerely

Velma Toporowski

Executive Assistant to
Alderman Ric McIver, Ward 12
The City of Calgary
403-268-2478


Good grief. I don't want a response from his assistant. I want a response from him. My alderman (see picture to the left). The guy I voted for.

I simply wanted to know why he is voting against changing the bylaw to this year instead of next year. Freakin politicians - no wonder they get a bad rap!


I got some sass, but I got paid!

I can't usually get away with writing a piece for the Q without enduring some sort of sass from one of the other Bloggers. This time, Kris decided to bug me.

I have since asked him if he lives in the Calgary core and he says "No, I don't". So therefore he has no idea what it's like to go through 10 days of Stampede hell down on good ol' 17th Ave.

Kris says: "Even putting aside the fact that such sentiment fits better with a 70-year-old retiree with sleeping problems and not a woman in her 20s who presumably enjoys an occasional night out on the town, Pratt's intolerance for country music is downright strange. Would it be ok if the music blaring out of the bars was hip-hop? Rock? Maybe a little Mozart?"

He's so funny. Thanks for the $40!


Friday, July 14 

Calgary Herald Q: Smoking stinks.

This damn city needs to hurry up and ban smoking from public places. As far as I'm concerned, smokers should only be allowed to smoke in the comfort of their own home - not in the comfort of a restaurant or pub.


Calgary Herald Q: I hate the Calgary Stampede.

And you can read about it here.


Thursday, July 13 

My birthday is almost here and ya wanna know what I want??

Just this delightful little number. It's not that pricey and look - it can be ordered online!


Scott always knows how to make me smile.


His words exactly, "I was going through some photos... and it made me laugh... he's so fat...". I couldn't stop laughing.

He was right. This gopher is fat.


Neighbour Relations

It's a good thing my neighbours don't know who I am.


Wednesday, July 12 

You could call them "The Hottness".


For the longest time I have had cheap pieces of shit glasses. Usually purchased on those discount racks at random stores. You know the ones, "Today's Special: ONLY $9.99!!". I was pretending to be cool while strutting my stuff in my less than hot shades, but actually becoming more and more blind due to the shit lenses.

So finally I took the plunge and bought glasses that don't just make me look uber hot, but they actually block the sun from my eyes. Eureka! I was sweating bullets that they would cost me more than my biweekly car payment but in reality cost me what the government gave me in a handy little GST rebate.


Tuesday, July 11 

Find out what kind of skank you are.





It's all fun and games, really. Just a fun little game I found while searching my new favorite authors book, Save Karyn.


Monday, July 10 

Sign me up!

If the government wants to give me a $1,000 tax cut to travel to 3 provinces in a year, I'm in. Seeing how I've never been east of Medicine Hat, it could be quite the incentive.

Now to get everyone on board with him....


Scott would kill me.















... Or he would shake his head and laugh at me. Aren't these fantastic? They only cost the same amount as my paycheck - but they would look great with a cute jean skirt and a cowboy hat, ya think?


$564.64 closer to greatness.

According to Business Opportunities Weblog, my blog is worth $564.64.

I wonder if I could sell this blog thing - maybe then I could buy a new pair of shoes. Mmm...


The Head-Butt

Egad.

This does not look like a nice situation.

In any event though, yay Italy!


You know it's a slow day in the UK when....


They post crap like this. Poor soccer wives...


Books books books. I'm such a nerd.

For the longest time, my dad tried his damnest to get me to pick up a book and read. He would bring books home, suggest them on a regular basis, make trips to the library with me in hand and would harass me about how much I'm missing out.

Well. I have found some books I absolutely loved and now am sharing them with you:

The Washingtonienne - Jessica Cutler
Not only is this book the raciest I've read (besides those blasted porn mags my ex used to "hide" from me), it is one of the funniest. It's also true - the part I love. RIght now, her life is caught up in the media and the supreme courts in the States. You'll have to find out why here...

Bitter is the New Black - Jen Lancaster
Holy heck is this chick the single most hilarious reader - ever. She is so, me. She goes from the top of the executive food chain, to living in a dump in the ghetto. Holy hell though is she funny.

The Devil Wears Prada - Lauren Weisberger
Ok so I had to read it because every other girl my age has read it. Again, funny - but not as funny as some of the other reads. Classic though. I bought her second novel, and almost fear the same writing. Ok, maybe it's good - but it goes into way too much detail where it's not needed.

Waiting patiently for....
- Jen Lancasters new book - "Bright Lights, Big Ass"
- Jessica Cutlers new book
- Stephanie Kleins first book
- and to begin reading Karyn Bosniak's biography "Save Karyn" and her first novel "Twenty Times a Lady"


Guess what I was doing on Friday morning...





Wednesday, July 5 

Oh you know, just another trip to the Okanagan.

How would I sum up my little long weekend escape from the big city? Erm, Fab-u-lous!

Nothing but hot hot hot weather, cold bevvies under the misters, trips to vineyards and living in the lap of luxury - Gallaghers Canyon - for the weekend. No complaints.

Now, to start my extra long weekend off, I took in 9-holes at the Pinnacle Golf Course. Not only did I rock out the whole time, but I actually, amazingly enough, was able to putt the ball into the hole a couple times. Woot woot! Watch out Annika!

Our third day began with a hop in the truck and a trip south. Our plan was to head to the extremely hot town of Osoyoos, but if we saw anything else before we hit there, so be it. First stop was Blasted Church Winery, a couple kilometers outside of Okanagan Falls. This little family run winery found a soft spot in my heart for its impressive scenery looking over Okanagan Lake and when I saw the cute wine bottle illustrations.

Moving on from Blasted Church, we continued the 90km/hr highway until we reached the self-proclaimed Wine Capital of the World: Oliver, BC. Let me tell you, they need that little pick-me-up more than any other town - what a dumpy place.

Our next destination was Burrowing Owl Winery. This place was talked about since we left the house in Kelowna; everyone had heard about it except me. But then since I don't drink wine (since that fateful evening last summer when I drank a full bottle in an hour...) I just smile and nod my head whenever anyone is talking about the sweet stuff.

In the distance, we come up to this brilliantly coloured tuscan chateau, nestled on the northernmost tip of the Sonora Desert and in amongst endless rows of vineyards. Absolutely fantastic view for as far as the the eye can see. We decide to have lunch (which satisfied us for dinner as well) and take in the beauty in their restaurant. Not only was the view to die for, but I had a sip of the Cold Cherry Soup and wow was it ever nice. Perfect on the 36 degree day.

After our visit, we got back in the truck and headed north, back to the backyard which was waiting for us not only to lounge in, but to to do nothing in. MMmm sweet sweet nothing.

Sunday was a whole day of lounging and walking through the lake. I was most impressed with Scott - after his adamant "no!" over going into the lake because of the slimy factor - he was more gung-ho to go in than I was. Alas, a swim in the pool back at Gallaghers was more up my ally. It was cleaner, less slime.

Monday was the drive home - the longest drive home of my life. I haven't ever noticed how wretched Alberta drivers are. By far, they are the worst drivers ever. Cutting in and out of traffic, cutting people off, passing on a double solid around a corner.

Not only did this vacation teach me about the ways of the lifestyles in Gallaghers (which I would very much like to partake in, with in the next couple of years - I can retire early, right?), but it showed me that having at least one extra long weekend a month would suit me just fine.