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Go me. I was recently sent a forward at work which had the title "Being a Man is OK". The email was fun, funny, open, honest, but had one flaw. There was no number 1. Hm. Handy. So I can make it up but men might not enjoy what I write. Maybe I should leave it out.I am going to write some smart ass comments to go along with each smart ass comment some man made. I am going to prove that being a woman is OK. And if this seems like a male bashing editorial, really, shake your head. It�s not. I love men. Being a Man is OK 2. Your orgasms are real. Always. Maybe we wouldn�t have to fake if you men knew what the hell you were doing. 3. Your last name stays put. I can keep mine too. No biggie. 4. The garage is all yours. Ah. Unless I use it to store all my high school pictures and projects and elementary school clothes I can�t dare part with. 5. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Well see, we like weddings. I know a lot of gals, (myself included), who dream of their big white day. Nothing wrong with that. 6. You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid. Neither are we. Duh. Especially if he is super hot. Or not� or has a good personality� Ok but we also have morals. Ahem. 7. Car mechanics tell you the truth. I get the truth. And a discount. It�s called cleavage men. Try it. Er, or not. 8. You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut. Ok quite frankly, if I spend $185 on a haircut, someone better notice god dammit. 9. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area. We do it for you. So either you suck it up and deal with the forest or not. 10. Same work ... more pay. Do you want to get me started on this? I make more then most men I know do. And I don�t even have a university degree. 11. Wrinkles add character. Wrinkles are great. 12. You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments. Neither do we. You �guys� just grab it in public. We don�t do that unless we are in a special club where we are dancing around a pole. 13. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100. But guys, we look DAMN SEXY! 14. If you retain water, it's in a canteen. Bah. 15. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them. Sometimes it works to get the job done. Not that I use it ALL the time� 16. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. Neither do ours. And quite frankly, if we do have a pair of Monolos on we can�t walk in, I will blame it on you. Besides, if we didn�t have to look so damn hot so you would notice us, we would walk around in flip flops or barefeet. 17. One mood, ALL the damn time. Our change in moods come from you. 18. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds. We have a lot to talk about. 19. A five-day vacation requires only 1 suitcase. But isn�t it right we bring our �emotional baggage� with us EVERYwhere we go? I think I heard that. 20. You can open all your own jars. I�m strong. I can. 21. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. Because its rare. 22. Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack. Yah but ours is sexy and lacey. 23. If you are 35 and single, nobody notices. We can hide it well too. 24. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat. Sorry- I have to drive. 25. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. Yah but we have to match the shoes with our outfits. Duh. 26. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking ''He must be mad at me." Well yah. 28. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends. Ha. 29. You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors. Oh but we do. Everyone needs to know fuchsia, lilac, salmon, etc. 30. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Only blondes do that. 31. You are unable to see wrinkles in clothes. We like to look decent. Wrinkle free. 32. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. Ok mullets aren�t cool. 33. Your belly usually hides your big hips. Our hips are beautiful. Remember? Big is beautiful. 34. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons. Again. Resort to number� 25 and 16. 35. You can "do" your nails with a pocket-knife. Ew. 36. Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 15 relatives, on December 24th, in minutes. Yah well we get the choice presents. The ones you will ACTUALLY use again. Yah. That takes thought therefore time. Argh. 37. The world is your urinal. Another gross one. Posted by Bella at 9:25 AM# 0 Comments:
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