<$BlogRSDURL$>

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?

Blogarama - The Blog Directory

Tuesday, November 30 

"Does everyone wear cowboy hats in Calgary??"

This article can also be found on the Calgary Herald website.

It was a serious question.

One of the Imperial Oil employees who has his name in the hat for a possible move to Calgary asked it. One of the Calgarian representatives answered, "No, after 5 o'clock we put on our Indian feathers".

Oh fantastic. What a great way to get people excited about moving to our city. As if the white cowboy hats, stampede and rodeos didn't pre-cook our reputation enough already, they had to throw in the Indian feathers.

More than 120 officials from 33 Calgary organizations made their way on a chartered plane to Toronto Friday morning. In return, roughly 1500 Imperial Oil families made their way to the Calgary Family Fair in Toronto this past weekend. They were handed information by companies like the Calgary Board of Education, the Calgary Health Region, the Calgary Real Estate Board, Spruce Meadows, the Calgary Philharmonic, and several post secondary institutions to name a few. See any trends?

Great schools, healthy lifestyle, big houses, your kids in equestrian boots, token arts, and cheap college.

This dog & pony show cost Calgary taxpayers about $200,000. Less than a condo downtown. And while some are whining and bitching over this, let's look at the positive side. This is going to bring in $5 million in income taxes each year. Um. Horray for the city!

Sure, Realtors are happy, moving companies are happy, but are Calgarians happy?

Imperial Oil is Canada's largest oil and gas corporation. They are moving their head office to Calgary bringing with them 500 current employees who will accept the move from Toronto to Cowtown. While it is fantastic for the city to receive 500 new families, sales of over 500 new homes, an additional $860,000 per year in residential property tax, and a predicted $38 million annually into the city's economy through household spending. So why are some Calgarians are anti the move?

Simple: We have preconceived notions about Toronto. Torontoians think they are the centre of Canada. We hate that a dark cloud of big-headedness and pure liquid snobbery that seems to hover over every damned one of them. And now, at least a thousand of them and their dark clouds are about to land here with all their money and their attitudes.

Someone order 1000 white hats and a few thousand Indian feathers. Have them ready at the arrivals gate.


Monday, November 29 

Make beautiful things happen with a smile in the right direction - Erik Hanson

A few weeks ago, I was shanghaied at the Chinook Chapters by 3 tall and rather good looking men. Obviously, I was drawn to why they were there wearing "Kindness Crew" tshirts and giving back massages. Two autographed books later, I knew that these guys were on to something. Something rare these days. Their website, Extreme Kindness, offers biographies on each one of the guys, stories, a travel-logs, and tons of other kindness type things which might make you think.

Q: Why? Why a crew? How did you decide to do this?

A: To connect the world through kindness. A crew allowed us to stick together as a group of friends. We just decided one day to make a difference and this is where we ended up.

Q: What is your secret recipe for a pick-me-up?

A: A hug, compliment and a smile.

Q: Have you come into contact with people who just don't understand your message?

A: Yes, sometimes people think we are out to sell them something.

Q: How do you deal with those people?

A: You respect what they are able and comfortable to receive... if not a hug than a handshake or a wave. There is always an opportunity for kindness.

Q: How do we get a city full of people who don't love themselves (I see all those self help books), to love others? Is that the idea? You're going first?

A: I believe that every one has a natural state of wanting to experience the energy of love/kindness/positivity etc... By showing people how easy it is to give and how much FUN, we think that people will begin to incorporate kindness more and more into their daily routine.

The day you guys caught me at Chapters, was a fantastic day to sell me your book. After having a rather crap day to begin with, I entered Chapters where you guys doused me with the biggest smiles. A smile means a trillion things-especially on days where nothing seems to be going right. I think people underestimate the power of "kindness" from strangers. The idea of helping someone to their car with their overbearing bags, keeping a door open, even down to being simple and law-obeying and allowing cars to merge. Why do you think this has become the case? When did simple kindness become such a big thing?

A: When kindness starts to fade in one aspect it will than become a big thing. Perhaps as our cities grow, that small town energy unfortunately can begin to disappear.

Q: What is one case that you will never ever forget? A case where you came into someone's life and were just genuinely kind to them?

A: I personally like the Dryden story in our book as it was an example of a purely random meeting.

Q: What's the secret to kindness?

A: Every day there is an opportunity to be kind in a new and different way than before. Look and be open fore these chances. You must truly believe in the power of a small gesture changing another persons life.


Saturday, November 27 

Purchasing a new home might just have been easier than purchasing a new phone.

After months and months of total dissatisfaction with Bell Mobility, I tooled myself back into the Southcentre store and laid it on the line for the guy.

"I dislike Bell. I enjoy their commercials, but don't like their service. But I have this realtor deal, so I think I can suck it up. As long as you promise no more surprises on my Bell bills coming up."

Dude laughed at me and sold me the most expensive phone in the store. One of the perks with buying the most expensive phone in the store, is that Bell gives you the credit right back- on your bill that is.

There were about 20 phones to choose from, most of which didn't have the flip part to it (which is something I wanted). I wanted a red phone. I got a silver. I wanted it to not look plastic or have a camera. Ha. But what, what, what do I need with a camera phone?

I guess we will find out in the coming three years as I am bound to Bell for that long.


Friday, November 26 

The things you think after the fact.

Before I say things, the little editor inside my head usually quickly edits what I am about to say so I don't spew out anything too stupid. Usually. Other times, the editor just isn't fast enough and I pound out whatever the hell I want to which ends up creating grief for myself in some form or another.

After things are said or things are done, I sit there wondering how I could have changed things- or if I could have. If I didn't send that email or if I didn't call that person, maybe things would be different.

Maybe our mistakes are what shape our fate. Without them, what would shape our lives?


Thursday, November 25 

Anybody? Somebody!?!

Not sure what I need to say in order for you guys to write a little itty bitty comment.

Um. What does it take?

Come on. Make my day. COMMENT.


One earth just isn't enough for a pig like me apparently.

The Ecological Footprint estimates how much land and water people need to support what they use and absorb what they discard. The Footprint Quiz figures out your footprint, and then lets you compare it to what other people use and to what is available on this planet.

If everyone lived like me, I would need 4 planet earths.

I'm a pig.


Wednesday, November 24 

Thank you for the chain letters over the years.

I want to thank all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me your damn chain letters over the past five years. Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed and wealthy.

Because of your concern, I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains. I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put Under God on their cans. I no longer drink anything out of a can because I will get sick from the rat feces and urine. I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer. I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could get pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me. I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support the American troops. I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a stupid number for which I will get the phone bill from hell with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.

I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers. I no longer date the opposite sex because they will take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub of ice. I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me. I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who is about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time).

I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special email program.

Yes, I want to thank all of you soooooooo much for looking out for me! I will return the favor. If you DON'T send this post to at least 1200 people in the next 60 seconds, a large bird with diarrhea will crap on your head at 5:00 pm tomorrow afternoon. I know this will occur because it happened to a friend of a friend of a friend of a cousin of a neighbor.


Tuesday, November 23 

The band formerly known as "Tourist", now Strada.

These guys know how to rock out. I have seen them in concert twice and each time have left wanting more. Thank God they are coming out with a CD shortly. To hear their tune, "Sleeper", you can check out their website. Take a look at what Chad and Dan, both members of the band, have to say about music, their weird obsession with Tom Jones, and what they want for Christmas.

Q: What does the process of making an album look like? How did you figure it out? You know, how did you get to "Hey, we're a band with a CD we can sell." Obviously you have enough of a following that you feel the need to have a CD out. Have any album names yet?

A: Hard work, learn as you go. When people start asking lots, you make a cd. Album names... Death of A Tourist, You have nothing to fear, Life is War, What's New Pussycat, it's not unusual.

Q: Online's a big thing now. What is your take on online music sharing? You have your song "Sleeper" on your website right now for free, which is awesome for those of us who are eagerly anticipating your CD coming out. Do you keep track of how many people download your music?

A: It's stealing. But we can't control it, nobody can. So, give people something free, and then if they like it they'll buy the real thing. Yeah we keep track.

Q: Kazaa, Limewire, WinMX, etc. Savoir or enemy? Bonus Question: Do you "steal" music off the sites yourself?

A: Could be the enemy, could help get your music out there, but people only steal recognized music anyways, they don't look for "the hottest Indie band" on Kazaa, so really, once you've worked hard to be recognized, then people look for "free music" of yours... so I guess that means it's the enemy. Back to the first question, one song is 4 minutes of pleasure for all the folks out there, but it takes us hours/days sometimes months, to end up with the finished product. (Oh yeah, plus how long it took me to learn how to play guitar and all that). Music is worth the money you pay for it.

Q: Any one person in the world who you would absolutely love to meet? Were they an inspiration to you at any point in your life or do they just flat out rock?

A: (Dan) Tom Jones... I mean... what's new pussycat!!!! Oh yeah, and Daniel Lanois (producer), my hero.

A: (Chad) Hollywood Hogan. His tan inspires me, his album is a smash hit. And I would love to meet Ryan Hamilton from the Popstars group, Velvet Empire.

Q: Starting with the name Tourist, and now unfortunately having to change it to something else... which one of the names (Strada, October, or Acadia) were you most keen on changing to? What has the response been like?

A: Strada is the new name, most people have been into Strada and October.

Q: I am assuming you have dreams and goals of making it big. Any band in Canada who you aspire to be like? Have you had any radio play yet or is that on your list of next things to do once your CD comes out?

A: Coolest Canadian band right now is Sam Roberts, different sound and genre than us but... Also Daniel Lanois is the most intense, forgotten Canadian.

Q: Do you write your own music? Does everyone contribute in that aspect? Are there experiences which you write out your songs from?

A: Yeah, Dan and I start the ideas, the rest of it comes together as we jam. All emotional experiences in life.

Q: Your band- where did you all meet? All friends? Did you start off as a garage band in one of your parent's garages?

A: Jeff, Nath and I grew up together. I met Dan on the internet.

Q: What are your lives outside of the band? Students? Full time engineers at some big oil firm?

A: Dan - Construction, Nath- Construction, Jeff - Cabinetmaker, Chad - Computer Guy

Q: Do you have a favourite venue yet? What sort of fan response do you get at these venues? What sort of bands have you opened for? How did you get the Stabilo gig? Anyone in particular you would love to open for?

A: The Saddledome. It kind of sucks with 200 people, but they respond well. We opened for Switchfoot (EMI) in the summer for a bit, Stabilo (EMI) for some shows this fall and winter. Would love to open for Muse, U2, Sam Roberts, Tom Jones.

Q: Any comments on the latest civic election? Hits or misses for who you wish was in office now? Any comments on the past American election?

A: Let's not get political. Americans are strange.

Q: I went to the Yellowcard concert at Mac Hall and was surprised at how much American propaganda they were dishing out. They were very very opinionated in regards to their thoughts on Kerry winning the election. If the roles were reversed, and Canada was the country with the controversial election, would you be as opinionated while performing at a show?

A: No.

Q: Christmas is coming up. What is one thing you would LOVE to get?

A: Chad: A bath robe
Dan: Food and stuff

Q: CD which is in your car stereo right now?

A: The Killers, Hot fuss

Q: Any closing thoughts? What is something that your band wants to tell the "world"?

A: Buy our CD.


Pressure cooker heartbursts.

While we're on the topic of airports, let's look at those fits of emotion at the departure gate.

What is it about "now boarding in 5 minutes" that opens the floodgates of our hearts and makes us dump all our raw feelings out on some poor dude with carry-on bags? You've seen it happen. The cliche love confession on the train platform. The first "I love you!" at the final boarding call. Heck, even Princess Leia spilled her guts to a soon-to-be-frozen Han Solo.

Um. Why?

Is it because we're our most honest when the pressures at its highest? With just seconds left, do we crack and lose all restraint because of the risk of not taking that opportunity? Or is it pure desperation?

Or... are we secretly more cynical than that? Is it more a case of our knowing that he has a while flight to forget about that high-risk confessed love or that gutsy showing of your heart's cards? It's a long busy flight after all. Clever, calculated risk-taking.

The next time you're seeing someone off at an airport, will you go nuts trying to figure your own motives out and end up sticking with a plain ol' handshake and a, "Well, have a good trip"?

If so, then somewhere, at 30,000 feet he's going to sink into his seat, dejected, thinking, "She hates me..."


Monday, November 22 

Some surprising deep thoughts on airports.

Airports are buzzing hives of perfection.

On the outside, the airport is the picture of "mind" perfection. The pilots, the controllers, the terminal staff, even the caterers, all working in sync. One big perfect clock. Thousands of machines, systems, and ideas all falling together and declaring, "Look what we can do!"

On the inside, the airport is pure and perfect "heart". Couples pouring out their hearts and saying everything they don't dare leave unsaid before departure. Fears being faced. Anger and frustration. Unguarded and brutally honest reactions at the arrivals terminal. None of our feelings seem to stay hidden there, they cry out, "Look who we really are!"

It's funny, but the minute you leave the Airport parking lot, everything switches around. We "feel" with calculated, guarded hearts, and we work, drive, bank and drone about purely by emotion.


Sunday, November 21 

GO LIONS GO!

That is all.


Friday, November 19 

Neighbourhood on a Stick.

This post is also found on the Calgary Herald Q section.

Not a weekend goes by where the Calgary Herald Homes section isn't reporting on some new development going up outside of Calgary. Bigger houses, more spectacular views (because the other views were built in front of), and even further away from the busyness of inner city life. And now, because so many of us are living in the suburbs, Calgary's mid-town traffic scene is something I dread more than anything in the morning and at the end of the day. Everyone funnelling out to their respective burb along one of the two or three routes they can take to their neighbourhood-on-a-stick, and getting in my way as I try my damnedest to get home to my real neighbourhood.

A few weekends ago, people were purchasing hay bails with numbers on it which represented the lot where their new million dollar home would be built. Although intrigued with the fact that someone camped out over night in order to be able to purchase their lot first thing the next day, I was also shocked by their need to live so far outside the city.

Here's what I don't understand. What's wrong with living deep in the city? Why are people so inclined to live on the outskirts of town when those outskirts creep up and envelop them in a few years anyway. In effect, why are we so hell-bent on living in the future midskirts of a big sprawl of fungus and doom ourselves to four hours a day of commuter torture?

I honestly can't answer that question myself because I'm an inner-city citizen. Yes, I have all the Good Life amenities within walking or driving distance to where I live. Groceries, book stores, a gym, and of course five Starbukses.

Don't get me wrong. Driving is fine. I'll admit I'm one of those Calgarians who can't be pried from their car, even by a team of hot firemen. Driving is everything for me. I drive to the dog park for my dog walk, to the local 7-11, to the movie store, to work, and anywhere else I want to go without the hassle of walking. But those are short drives on sensibly managed inner city streets! They're not epic commutes on one of a few clogged artery freeways to Nowhere? where lots are going fast and cars are going slow.

What would happen if City Council stopped whining about sprawl like I am, and used their few powers to encourage builders to build deep within the city's boundaries instead of pushing and redefining those boundaries. Tax incentives, bonuses, gift baskets, whatever it took. Wouldn't that be something. Imagine a bright shining future Calgary with a beautiful soft candy center and a crusty old abandoned suburban shell. Yum.


Not sure what to call this.

I don't think a day goes by where we don't hear about the casualties of war over in Iraq who die due to hostile fighting. This, however, was rather interesting.

Skim through the table and where it says Details, look at how many soldiers didn't die in hostile warfare. Here is just a sample of what is found on that list:

"Branch was found dead from a gunshot wound at the British Army base in the Shatt-al-Arab Hotel in Basra, Iraq, on October 31, 2004. The incident is being investigated but is not thought to have been the result of hostile action."
"Died from a non-hostile gunshot wound in Baqubah, Iraq, on October 26, 2003"
"Died of non-combat related injuries at Forward Operating Base St. Mere, Iraq, on October 28, 2003"
"Died of injuries sustained in a fire during a small-arms fire exercise."
"Died from a non-hostile vehicle accident in Al Anbar Province, Iraq, on August 27, 2004"
"Died during physical training in Baghdad, Iraq, on December 18, 2003"
"Found unconscious on May 13, 2004, and was later pronounced dead in Al Asad, Iraq. The cause of death is under investigation."
"Killed by an accidental discharge of a .50 caliber machine gun on March 22, 2003, in Iraq"

These casualties which we don't hear about, are by far the most sad I think. These are most likely the deaths which could have been avoided. Sure accidents happen, but if you read through the details, you will see some rather odd 'accidents'.


Thursday, November 18 

Politics: The most fun you can have with your boots on (a doll).

This post was also posted on the Calgary Herald Q.

Seems like Little Miss Carolyn Parrish has a couple things in common with Mr. Ralph Klein. Parrish was expelled from Caucus today, too bad they can't expel Klein for some of the remarks he has made over the years.

Parish has been one to speak her mind in regards to the Americans. While not everything she has said should have been said out loud (especially as an MP), she was able to use her MP soapbox to get some attention both from both Canadian and American media and citizens. Did she do it to cause a stir? Or did she do it because she honestly believed it?

Did her stint on This Hour Has 22 Minutes cause a stir with her caucus because they were afraid the Canada/US relationship might dwindle more, or was it that they didn't think they could say that on national television? Whatever it was, it was almost admirable. Almost.

Back up the boat here, and let me explain, before I get myself in trouble.

Everyday, situations come along that get the hamster wheels spinning in our heads, and sometimes those hamsters spin out a thought that becomes words or deeds just a few minutes too soon. Those evil hamsters catch our internal editors napping and boom. Foot in Mouth, ass in sling. It happens to the best of us and it even happens to politicians. You do it, I do it, King Ralph loves to do it, and Carolyn did it one too any times with her boots on.

Here's the thing. In our big mad rush to jump on the most outspoken people in the crowd, are we running the risk of snuffing out some of the brighter lights too? Who's asking Ralph why AISH abusers have him so mad? Who's asking the campus activist why she stomps on the other country's flag? Who's asking Carolyn Parrish why she's got her shorts in a knot over the "damn Americans"? There's always two sides to every piece of toast, it's too bad the yelling screaming side lands news camera side up all the time.


Seeing how nothing else is working, I thought I would throw my idea into the hat.

There's more than one way to bring peace to the middle east. Mine involves lots and lots and lots of brand new glass.

I have a plan to bring about lasting peace in the middle east and global nuclear disarmament. Two guesses how I'd go about it.

Guess 1: Ask very nicely, and pass more UN resolutions and hold more world peace concerts and meditate and visualize harder. Gather children on a hilltop to sing that 1971 Coke song. Om.

Guess 2: Nuke everything from Morocco to Pakistan, Uzbekistan to Somalia. Everyone with an ICBM or plane-deliverable ordnance pitches in. Yeah Israel would be caught in the middle but there's more Jews in New York than all of the middle east so we'd have plenty spare left over.


P.S. I am so going to get in shit for this.


Wednesday, November 17 

"For Megan - All the very best!! - Peter C. Newman"

My list of intriguing people whom I have met is getting a little longer.

Tonite I met Mr. Peter C. Newman, legendary author and best seller, former editor of various newspapers, and former Editor in Chief of one of Canada's most influential magazines, Macleans.

What I found most fascinating and brilliant about this man was that he knows so many people and can answer your question about anything Canadian. Over his five decades of journalism, he has met and interviewed so many influential people- it was almost exhausting hearing him list off the names. From the likes of Pierre Trudeau, the infamous Conrad Black and Brian Mulroney, this man has more stories than he has time to write them on paper.

Listening to him speak was almost enlightening. It's not often you get to hear a journalist talk so candidly about their life and who and what has come in and out of it.

At the end of his hour discussion, he offered his pen to the front page of the books which we were teased about to buy from. I purchased it and and met him. After I offered my hand for him to shake, he looked almost stunned that a 22 year old would be there, buying his book, asking for his signature. Little does he know that I was incredibly stunned myself that I was meeting him and hearing his stories after reading his articles only months before in Macleans magazine not even imagining of meeting him.

This man was for sure an inspiration, just as Catherine Ford is. I wonder if they know each other...


Tuesday, November 16 

A night of reflection: What the hell am I doing here?

I had some fantastic advice from a mentor last week. "The world needs more writers like you. Why don't you just do it?"

I can't even begin to tell you how much those words meant to me- but I still can't get into it. For so many years I have wanted to be this huge writer/editor/anything-to-do-with-the-written-word, but I get so many blocks, that I don't know where to start.

I almost need a little Catherine Ford motivation. When she wrote, it was with such passion and such force and I loved it. Crazy lady went and retired so now I am left fending for myself and in search of another controversial columnist. Catherine come back!

I want to tell you people so many things on this goddamn site, heck- that is what it is there for. I am writing on this thing to entertain and to inspire and to just give you a random something to kill your time with. I want to give you something to comment about.

Maybe I should become a dentist. Lord knows the world needs more of those.


Saturday, November 13 

It's discouraging to think how many people are shocked by honest and how few by deceit.

I went to Moxies for desert and a drink the other night. Usually, I header over there for the mouthwatering White Chocolate Brownie which is usually freshly baked, smothered in ice cream and whipped cream and of course, chocolate syrup. Mmm goodness. Although this time, not so goodness.

I pulled the waiter over to me and asked him, "How are your brownies cooked? Are they actually sitting in an oven just waiting for the next customer to order it, or are they microwaved?" He looked at me for a second and said, "Microwaved, why?" I says to the guy, "Because it tastes like it." He gave me another look and said, "Sorry I asked" and walked away.

Now at this point, I was slightly blushed. I felt like maybe I overstepped an honesty boundary and had actually come across as a huge bitch. When he came back over, "I am sorry if that came out being bitchy." He looked at me and laughed. "You and I would get along so well together."

I can tell someone that they look absolutely fantastic in something they are wearing when really they look like a truck hit them and then drove over their outfit numerous times, but can I actually say that to them? Negatory. For whatever reason, feel way too bad. And good God for whatever reason, my mouth has done alot of blabbing the past little while and I have been super honest in places and to people where maybe they needed sugarcoating.

From my friends, I expect nothing but the honest truth. Tell me if I am an uber bitch or if my socks look horrendous with my shoes, or my breath smells like cat food. I don't want to be told something that isn't honest. God damnit.

You would be amazed at how liberating it is almost to tell someone the honest to God truth and to hear their reaction whether it be "WHOA! Back up! Jigga what!?" or "Excuse me while I cry myself to sleep the next little while." Meh. If I lied to you to make everything feel better for that moment in time, would it really be that much better to you in the longrun? Nope. So deal with it. From now on, you are all dealing with honest open Megan in her blogs.

Parental units: You thought the post on sexual positions was bad?! Moo wa ha ha...


You gave your body to the lonely.

I woke up this morning and still had mascara rubbed under my eyes from the woe-is-me-session the night before. I hate waking up with mascara on my pillow. I was on a mission to make myself feel better today. I wanted to be somewhat successful.

I had this whole day planned out: I would go re-register Alistair and get his 2005 sticker on his license plate, I would get my shampoo bottle refilled, go to Chinook Centre and buy the turtleneck at Banana Republic and then buy the book in Chapters I had been wanting, get a coffee/hot chocolate from Timmys and then drive out to Cochrane, around to Bragg Creek, and then back up through way south Calgary. And then, I would come home and rock out to some random tunes on my stereo and read my book. Which book you ask? No idea.

This is how today actually went: Woke up around 8 a.m. (ugh), ate a little brekky with ma and pa, had a shower, went to AMA to re-register Alistair, refilled my shampoo bottle, went to Chinook Centre and tried on the turtleneck (even bigger ugh), went to Chapters and got shanghaied by 3 hot looking men in tshirts that said, "Kindness Crew", bought 2 books of theirs I didn't anticipate buying (so the other book is still on hold), dropped one of the two personalized books off at Aarons, then came home.

I was all totally stoked to sit down and bust out my text book for class and do my work for school and try to pump out some actual work for... work, and didn't get either one done. Nicely done, (quit shaking your head Aaron- I know I am a failure). So what did I do? I went back to the mall.

This time though, it was a personal mission. A mission to raise my spirits a little. I went to BCBG. (Sidenote: I am on a quest to find the Christmas outfit for the big Christmas party my company has. I spent a good hour and a half trying on clothes until I found the outfit.)

Shopping is like therapy for me. Sounds super silly, but when I go to this store, the ladies know me by first name and they know what size I am and what I like and what might look good on me. These are things that make me feel a little over-the-top special. And that ladies and gentlemen, was one hell of a lot better than working on my assignment due in oh about t minus a month.

Tomorrow; I will be more.


Thursday, November 11 

If you only do one thing today, make sure you do this before that.

"What is particularly funny, is that in the leading man category I am nominated alongside: Brad Pitt, Jude Law, Colin Farrell and Jim Carey. Yes indeed me and my friends had a good laugh about that one. A "Fraggle" has a better shot at winning that award than me."

You heard the man. Vote for Zach Braff. A guy I would vote for over Brad Pitt any day.


I had the vague impression I had accomplished something.

Due to my ignorance in junior and high school, I never paid much attention to the real important things in class, like studying. Sure, I read the Calgary Herald front to back each morning, I am always scanning the news websites for up to date info, but there is a lot of stuff I am still lacking. I can't randomly jump into a conversation about Yasser Arafat or about the state of Russia, or about the Euro currency. However, I can tell you everything you want to know about the latest fashions walking down the red carpet, kick ass rock out music, and what the gas prices are.

When I was in grade 10, I went to Europe. Originally this trip was just a choir "tour" but what it turned into was one of the most educational experiences of my life. I learned so much more about history when I was literally touring around these historical places than I did sitting in an uncomfortable desk reading it out of a text book.

One of the many places I visited was Vimy Ridge. (Side note: This park was dedicated to Canada as a National monument back when it was completed in 1936. The French Government granted, "freely, and for all time, to the Government of Canada the free use of the land exempt from all taxes". How kind of them. ) Now, while in Europe, an average every day tourist probably wouldn't take time out of their trip to check out this site, and that was just the reason why it was that much better. Maple trees stood on the side of the road entering the monument, Canadian flags, greener than green grass; it was amazing. It was truly a site I will never forget. After Vimy, actually in the same day, I traveled to Ypres, and Flanders Fields. Nothing though compared to Vimy.

When I got back from Europe, I was lucky enough to be studying World War 1 in social class. I was able to contribute so much more to class because I was literally at these sites, than I would have been able to if I hadn't gone to some of these places. If I could do it all over again, I would go back to school in a second. I would pay attention even if I was bored out of my mind, and I would get my priorities a little straighter than I had them. Such is life. I can only convince my younger friends, maybe even one day... Heaven forbid, my own children.


Wednesday, November 10 

Happy Birthday Me.

I came into the world naked. Today, I was thinking that I would just be naked ALL day.


Tuesday, November 9 

No one ever gets bored talking about sex.

So.

How much fun is it to try a new sexual position? At first a little awkward as the two word discussions begin but in the end, it usually ends up pleasant or in a resounding "let's stick to the missionary."

While searching randomly around Cosmopolitan online, (as typing in a search for sex positions in Google might bring up a couple things I just don't care much for seeing...), Cosmo brought up some interesting names for some simple positions:

Lusty Leap Frog, Sultry Sidewinder, Canine Coupling, Magic Missionary, and the Tantalizing Trapeze.

Do those mean anything to you? Means nothing to me. Maybe I am more just simple minded; you can get on top of me, between me, and even besides me- but I prefer being on top. No fancy names, not random adjectives to make them sound more fun, just the straight up honest truth.

Now, every person I know has a different opinion of what sex is. So here are some of my friend's anonymous answers:

"If it's two people getting together to just do it then it's probably just the sex. If it's two people who have a strong attraction and care about each other and want to express themselves in a stronger way then it should be love."

"The male has a hoo-daddy and the female has a cha-cha. In the act, the male puts his hoo-daddy into the woman's cha-cha."

"Honestly, I think we stripped it of an of it's spiritual realities, and in so doing we reduced sex to about a hundredth of what it was supposed to be and left ourselves with a cheap imitation. A pity, but a reality. Sometimes it's still fun the way karaoke to bad music is fun, when you know there used to be real music."

"Any time a man and woman touch each other for the sole benefit of pleasure."

"Sex is the ultimate in intimacy between two lovers, or the ultimate high between strangers and everything in-between."

"90%... well 98% of it is the lead up. The non-bedroom (generic term) stuff. So in a sense almost everything people do has sexual applications. In the bedrOOm that is. "

I enjoy talking about sex with my girlfriends and even boy-friends. I get a kick out of comparing notes. When it comes to sex, it never seems as if anyone is on the same page. Everyone has their own ideas of sex means to them. What I will tell you though, is that I thoroughly enjoy it. I enjoy the thought of it before it happens, the leading up to it, the kissing, the sensual touches, the candles in the background which offer light on each other body- but only enough that you can just see them, and I love the fact that for that time which can last for hours, you are so SO wrapped up in each other.


About as useless as a roadless street map but hey- thought I would tell you.

So if you are sitting at some remote computer somewhere where you don't have my web address and you really really really want to read my latest banter, remember this: www.meganpratt.com.

I know, I know, super exciting. I almost peed my pants too.


Monday, November 8 

I am just asking you to read my expression on my face next time you ask me to do something for you. That should be my answer.

So my official birthday is in about t minus 2 days. I love birthdays. Love them. I know that everyday people should be celebrated and paid attention to like it is their birthday, but such is life- and not many people are. This is my birthday week.

I had a party the other night at the good ol' Bull and Finch Pub. Out of 70 people invited, I had about 20 attend. Sure, things come up for people... life gets in the way. But just a word of caution: this opened my eyes to who I have around me.

If you say you are going to come, then come. If you aren't going to come, then don't. Don't tell me you will come and then not show up or give me some lame ass reason for why you couldn't make it.

Granted, I had some people call me and tell me they couldn't make it last minute for one reason or another- but those who didn't prewarn me; be lucky I had the amazing friends around me that I did the other night who made me almost forget the others who claim to be friends.

Want a ride somewhere? It's called Calgary Transit. Here is the address. Need to borrow some money? Ask your parents. Want me to attend your birthday party? I'll have to check my calendar.


Saturday, November 6 

312,700 sq ft of Ikea quality.

Good God I entered the hostile civilization known as Yuppieville.

I received two passes to the new Ikea screening here in SE Calgary (which, I might add, is only a pebbles throw away from my front door), so mom and I ventured over there early this morning. Ok, so it was 11 a.m. Still early.

Just so you have an idea of the goliath store:
- Largest free standing building in Alberta
- Two levels of Ikea furniture and nick-nacky things
- 11,000 furniture articles (over double what was at the old Ikea store in the north)

The hoitey toitey people were astounding. Who shops Ikea with their Prada shoes and Louis Vutton bags? Jeez, I was wearing a baseball cap, sans makeup, runners and carried my wallet in my Gap purse. I thought Ikea was about inexpensiveness and simplicity. Meh- what did I know?

Mom and I walked for two hours almost aimlessly and of course, in awe of how much there was. It was sensory overload for sure. The one thing though that made me appreciate the experience was the music. It always helps when there isn't gack music- but this was 80's gold. This was great.

I don't really know what to say besides: when you go, make sure you pee first, wear comfy shoes, take a cart, and remember where you park - it's a goliath parking lot to go along with the goliath store.


Friday, November 5 

Pick this one for some Friday morning deep thought.

Shut the fuck up or shut up about the fuck-up.


Thursday, November 4 

It's all about the beginning and the end. That middle stuff is just filler.

Um, yah.

It's true though, eh?

The beginning: the first time you kiss your new beau (butterflies for days!), the first time you meet someone, the first day of your new job, your new car smell, when you are told "I love you" etc. That stuff is to die for.

The middle stuff: some memories are from this, but you are always longing for the first time again. Not saying that this stuff isn't super fun, but it can also be kinda bittersweet.

The end: when you are told, "I don't love you anymore", your car smells old and has 89,000 kms on it, your job is tiring and not worth your time, etc.

I don't really know where I was going with this actually but hey, I thought I would share a random Megan moment with you.


Wednesday, November 3 

The Flu Shot.

This was a forward sent to me as a joke... but I think it has a bit of truth in it.

In recent negotiations for influenza vaccine between a Canadian health official and an American representative, it was clear that there was a disconnect between the American government's sudden reliance on Canada for influenza vaccine despite the fact that the U.S. wants to discourage Americans from buying routine prescription drugs from Canadian pharmacies.

Not seeing the irony in the request, the American continued to press for the vaccine and then demanded to know why the United States would be charged for the vaccine when Canadians get theirs "for free."

The Canadian official replied, "Oh it's not free, the government pays for it."

"Well then," the American replied, "How much will it cost us?"

The Canadian replied, "Well, we don't know...we'll let you know."

In frustration, the American replied, "Well, it's urgent, so just send an invoice with the shipment. By the way...how will the vaccine be delivered?"

After careful consideration, the Canadian official replied, "By cow. Twenty vials of vaccine will be tied around the neck of every cow that passes over the border. Now...if you want faster delivery, there are some some softwood lumber trucks available..."


Tuesday, November 2 

Politically correct Halloween: reasons for nay then reasons for yay.

While reading the Calgary Herald Q today, I came across a rather humorous piece which I thought I would share with you. You can click here to read it, but before you do that- you might want to click here to read this one so you have an understanding of what the first one means.


Monday, November 1 

Some people say everything happens for a reason. I don't know if I believe that. Well, unless it actually happens.

Only a year ago I would honestly spend nights drenching my pillow in black mascara while my mom sat beside me telling me everything would be ok. Did I believe her? Heck no. Good God was she ever right though.

One year ago the person I cared about most at the time, just up and left me to do something he had always wanted to do apparently. I didn't understand this then, and I sometimes still find it hard.

There was this building which went up for sale the day I drove in to work on my starting day here at my current job. A couple of weeks ago, it finally sold, and I was just thinking - a lot that has happened in this past year. In a weird way, it was almost symbolic to see that big fluorescent "Sold" sign stuck overtop the "For Sale" board. Closure. Transition. Catharsis. In big, sticky fluorescent letters.

Since last October I have done more things, and accomplished more than I actually thought I could have. I have a Technical Writing certificate under my belt, soon to be paired with a Project Management certificate (that is, if I ever sit down and actually do the final assessment paper...), I have absolutely spectacular friends, I write on this fantastic website where I actually have people read it (thanks again yo'), and I even write for the Calgary Herald. So really, right now - things are looking up. Way up.

And so, I almost want to thank you for leaving to do that thing you wanted to do. It forced my eyes to open up to what was around me and enabled me to spread my wings a little and see what I could do. Domo arigato.


Mere hours until the Presidential election recount.

Good God I wonder who is going to win.

I can't wait for it to be over. I can't wait for our Canadian newspapers to stop advertising the election. For the tv stations to stop broadcasting each and every move that these candidates make. For Mr. bin Laden to go back into hiding. He has been so nice and quiet and now he had to come out and speak out on the election. Bah.

And I can't wait to see how long it takes for the recount to begin. Which state will be the upset this time around? I'm going to make a guess and say... Nevada. And which candidate will be better for Canada? Probably a pack of wild monkeys.


If you haven't noticed by now, it's all about me.

So what makes Megan happy? What puts a smile on her face randomly while sitting in traffic? What gets her through meetings at work?

Random text messages.
Who doesn't love the text message? Who doesn't love the fact that someone took the time out of their day to type away at their phone to tell you something whether it be "How are you doing" or "You're great"? I know I love them.

Being naked.
Thank God for the naked body. Thank God! What can compare to lying naked next to someone you truly care about? I actually think I would take that over chocolate most days. Something so trivial as just lying together can put smiles on my face even at the most serious times. Maybe I can throw the occasional smoochie smoochies in there too. Why just lie naked when you can smooch and be naked? Oh the places I could go with this...

Ok, chocolate.
So the "o" as I like to call it at Joeys. Yah... not really too sure what I would be like if that little piece of goodness wasn't part of my life. I know for one that my hips would be smaller.

Moo juice.
Sweet nectar from the cow-gods. Love this stuff. Love milk. Mm.

Waking up to "Everybody wants to rule the world" by Tears for Fears.
Something about that song makes me happy. Maybe it's the fact it is a super cheesy 80's tune, or maybe it's the fact that it isn't the super annoying sound my alarm clock makes.

Huge freakin hugs.
Who doesn't love them? Ok, maybe I should clarify and say, if I know the person who is dishing out the embrace then it's all good. (Have to add little disclaimers in there now and then- I probably should have done the same with the point about being naked with someone...)

The words "brouhaha", "defenestrate", and "troglodytes".
Come on people. Don't these make you giggle? Or am I the only true nerd here?

Token music by: Dave Matthews Band, Sarah Slean, Yellowcard, Josh Groban, etc.
My car would be so boring without music. Writing this right now would suck ass. Love these musical people. And uh yah, did I happen to mention I met Josh Groban? ;)

And token otherness...
Phone calls from old friends, being paid attention to, being surprised with and by anything, recognition, seeing my name and pieces I have written published on websites and in newspapers, a fantastic line from a song which plays in my head all day, fun expensive clothing, my 'perfect' stilettos, and when people read things which I have written on my site which are referenced back to.