<$BlogRSDURL$>

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?

Blogarama - The Blog Directory

Tuesday, June 27 

Hot Hot HOT long weekend here I come...

Canada Day long weekend coming up - giddy up!

SoooOOOooOoOoo stoked. We're off to Kelowna on Thursday for the weekend to kick it Kelowna-style. I am hoping to swim with the Ogo-Pogo but Scott doesn't seem to think that's a good idea. Bah. Something about icky-poo lake weeds and gross lake bottom?! The way I see it, if I can't see it - I'm good no matter how nasty the lake floor actually is.

But I'm thinking that if the weather is going to be as hot as the good ol' Weather Network says it's going to be - being in the lake is the only logical idea.

I'm sure he'll agree with me once he begins to feel faint while laying on the sandy beach and I'm all cool and relaxed swimming in the water making buds with the lake creature.


Thursday, June 22 

Calgary Herald Q

Another piece by moi.


Wednesday, June 21 

God damn...

I have tried so hard this year to have a little mini-garden on the patio. I water the 3 potted plants and 1 hanging basket every day (just like mom said to do) but as of late, my poor plants have been drowning in a pot of their own soggy soil. It's kind of a lose-lose situation for me this year. my first year of gardening and it's turning into a failure.

Maybe I should stick with indoor plants. You know, the bamboo ones, the ones that are the hardest to kill even if I really was trying.


Tuesday, June 20 

Angelina the Goddess.

Secretly I love her. I would have had no idea today was World Refugee Day if it wasn't for her - so good on her.

The world needs more people like her; celebrities who donate 1/3 of their salary to third world countries are definitely hard to come by.


Sunday, June 18 

My idea of roughing it usually includes a bed at a hostel in a foreign country - not a tent in the middle of the woods.

We were asked on Tuesday if we were interested in going camping this weekend. Being the gung-ho semi-spontaneous people that we are, we said "ok" not realizing really what we needed to do to actually go. Since we were both sick like no ones business for two days of the week, we didn't have much time to really think about what we needed to bring, what campsites to check out, what the weather would be like or what we should pack to stay warm. I was obviously delusional because I didn't think it would be cold - it's summer, no?

Friday after work we went to Canadian Tire to check out tents. Scott had one but it smelt like curled milk which wasn't going to help my already nautious feeling. $130 later, we had a sweet ass tent which boasted it's waterproof-ness and innovative design. After taking it home and setting it up in the living room, we realized it needed to set up the air mattress to make sure it fit inside the tent. Then we realized we couldn't find the pump. Where would the pump be you ask? On the back of Scott's proton-pack he made for his Halloween costume as a ghostbuster. Right. So back in the car and across the city to Canadian Tire to buy a pump, and not just any pump - the pump. The mother of all pumps.


We headed out of town about 10:30 and made a quick stop to good ol' TH's. Packed to the rims in Joel and Denise's 2-month old Nissan X-Trail, we were ready for roughing it in the great outdoors. After making a quick stop at the visitor centre in Kananaskis Country, we had our map and destination in hand - we just needed to find it. After about 45 minutes of driving, we came across the turn-off to Coleman which set off the warnings in my head - we were about 45 minutes too far. Shite. We turn around and header back to the turn-off.

We found our spot, lucky number 13, and set up camp. Scott and I put up our tent, Denise and Joel put up their tent and we were good. Well, except for the fact that their tent smelled of mould. Plan B: they would sleep in the truck and we would use the mouldy tent as a gazebo / storage unit.

We had a visit from what I called the "Tent-Nazis". The old-lady campground manager came into our site and asked us about the smelly tent set up. Was it being used? And if so we needed to pay another $18. If not, we had to take it down. Well, what if Joel and Denise slept in the car? Right - because it's a "sleeping-unit" that would cost $18 as well. A little white lie saying they would sleep in our tent and she was gone - but we knew she was coming back. Joel and Scott decided that if we couldn't use the tent to sleep in, it would have to be a gazebo.

We took a quick trip to the general store en route to the Upper Lake and Scott bought another sleeping bag as my bag was clearly not going to be warm enough for me to survive the night. It rained a little, and then a lot, and then a little. We then realized we weren't really prepared. We didn't have enough clothes, didn't really have shelter from the rain, and yah - what was I not doing in the city? The boys bought some wood and we made fire, later cooked some hot dogs and played bocce in the woods.

After a couple beers, some more food and some random banter, the "tent-nazis" were back asking us if we were taking down the tent. When they found out it was now a gazebo, they let us be and we got away with not paying for a separate sleeping area. We were then ready for bed after a smore or two.

It was cold, it was so cold I could see my breath. I crawled into my first bag, and then into the second, hunkered down on the air mattress and tried to breath as heavily into my bag as I could. I was worried for my limbs and feared they wouldn't make it through the night.

Throughout the night Scott would wake me up and ask me if I was still alive. The second time he woke me up, it wasn't to ask me if I was still breathing, it was because our mattress was soaking wet with the condensation from the inside of the tent. It was only 4 a.m. We had a while still before we could get warm in the truck.

When I woke up for the last time, I couldn't feel my feet. I mosied my way out of my sleeping bag and hobbled close to the fire. A bowl of oatmeal and a quick pack, we were going home. I now know that next time I decide to venture out into the camping-country, I need to go prepared.


Wednesday, June 14 

That George W is one smart cookie.

And this is the President of the US of A. The President. El Presidente. What a dumbass.

I am so embarrassed for him.


Good ol' misuse of public money.

Ok so what these people had to deal with was truly horrific. I wouldn't have traded spots with them at all. But this crap of US officials handing out over $1 billion US is crap. I call fraud! Instead of buying things like tents, food, water, or clothes, they bought trips to Hawaii, paid for divorce lawyer fees, erotica and a $200 bottle of champagne at Hooters. Not to mention how much cash was handed out to prison inmates. Good gracious - FEMA sure did a number on this one.

A. Who needs a trip to Hawaii during this time?
B. Who can think of things like porn and toys when shit's going down in New Orleans, and
C. Hooters sells $200 bottles of champagne?


Monday, June 12 

Real Estate for me.

I couldn't imagine having a hard time living here. You know, pitching a tent or buying a mobile home or trailer. Peeing in an outhouse or in a bush... I'm sure I could handle whatever elements I had to in order to wake up to this every morning.

I think I have $8k in savings... anyone have $40k? Daddy????

And sure it's a mobile home, but come on - how could you not want to go there every weekend to take in what cozy Kimberley has to offer? This is actually more my price range but this has land where I could build a tree fort.

Sigh...


Oh baby...

My little hybrid dog Tanu, had the misfortune this weekend of being caught between a baby magpie and a momma/papa magpie. I'm sure it was innocent enough - baby on the ground, Tanu just wants to play with it. Well. Tanu won which ended up debilitating the bird to the point of apparent death.

I repeat, it's not Tanu's fault.

While I was over at my parents house for our weekly Sunday bun fight, I experienced first hand how cruel these damn magpies are to my poor pooch. She went out to pie and was later dive-bombed by not one, but two crazy birds. They were cawing at her and pecking at her tail as she walked around the yard.

If anyone knows a quick and painless way to get rid of magpies, shoot me a comment or email. I fear Tanu might not be up to many more attacks by these damn things. That and Ben, my brother, has darts which he's not afraid to use.


Thursday, June 8 

Calgary Herald Q

New piece here. Check it out...


Saturday, June 3 

Oh this is kinda scary.

It's a good things the Canucks are doing something productive with their time and fighting the real bad guys. You know, we could be doing something extra productive like looking for a dead guy who's been missing for the past 30 years.

Maybe the Canadians should look for Osama, it seems like we're a little better at finding these guys.


Saturday afternoon.

In the most heartbreaking act of survival-of-the-fittest / Darwinism, I witnessed a momma duck and her herd of ducklings attempt the impossible: cross Deerfoot trail. The even more unfortunate thing is only a couple years ago, the destination they were trying to get to (where the mammoth Ikea is) was a grassy marsh land full of trees, ponds, ravines and grass.

To make myself feel better I'll tell myself they all made it across 10 lanes of traffic safely - but my heart says otherwise. There is no way possible for ducklings to weave in and out of car tires without ending up on the bottom of them.

It's too bad our need for bigger stores easier convenience to one-stop-shopping has made animals homeless and lost.

---

In my attempt to do my part for the environment and little creatures that inhabit it, I've found myself on a recycling and wild / organic food kick. These guys have a fair amount of pull with regards to my latest trend and no, I'm not turning hippie on ya'll. Pretty disturbing stuff if you read through it - but then maybe you just have to witness everything first hand to really grasp the importance of paying a little extra attention when buying things like fish or throwing out paper.

/end weird hippie-esque post


Thursday, June 1 

Guess what the great and wonderful and thoughtful Scott bought me...

And all I had to do was say I had a bad day... which I very much did... but now I want more bad days more often if this is what I get..

Now I am as happy as a pig in mud!! I am soooOOoOoooooOOO excited to begin making luscious bevies and slurp them down on the patio in the sun. Drinks for everyone!


Lindsay's Whirlwind Adventure.

My girlfriend, Lindsay, went to Japan to take some Japanese course and get a first hand experience of what the Jap culture is really like. Her email today made me laugh pretty stinkin' hard hence the reason I'm sharing it with you:


Greetings All,

The weekend of the 26th till the 28th was our homestay weekend, and as you can likely infer from the subject of this email it was not the funnest weekend of my life. For homestay, each one of us (from Calgary) was sent to a different family to stay for the weekend. We were instructed to bring gifts, be polite and always keep in mind that our stay only lasts a weekend. The last two especially became my mantra for the weekend.

I was picked up by my homestay "mother" (using the loosest sense of the word) at the dorm on Friday night 30min after she was supposed to arrive. On the information sheet I received from the school it said that I was staying with a non-smoking family. The first thing the homestay mother said to me was that she lied on the form and that she does in fact smoke.... in the car.... in the house.... During meals.... In front of her children.... I wouldn't be surprised if she smokes in the shower. The family consisted of her, and her two daughters Oohlala(6) and Maria(8). I'm not kidding, the kid's name was actually Oohlala. I wouldn't name a dog Ohlala. Talk about getting a playground ass kicking! They also had a boy staying with them who was nine, and I couldn't figure out how he fit in to the picture.

We arrived at her house at about 7:30 on Friday night. My impression from the outside was "wow, what a nice house." You know how they say 'don't judge a book by its cover' well 'they' were very right! The inside of their house was filthy!!!!! Like call child services filthy!!! Their upstairs toilet was covered in feces. I saw the older of their 2 dogs shit on the floor and the "mother" picked up the poop (sort of) but didn't clean the floor. And on Sunday morning when I was making my bed I discovered dirty laundry (not mine) between the sheets of the bed that I had been sleeping in for tonight. I don't know about you, but to me that implies that those sheets were NOT cleaned before I slept in them...gross!

On Saturday the families were instructed to take us somewhere in order to show us more of Japan. We ended up at this stupid kids only mall and playpark where I spent NINE HOURS watching her horrible children play. Sunday was more of the same. She took the 5 of us to some stupid children's party at their local community center. Where there were even MORE screaming children which went well with my pounding headache.

The whole situation was made even better by the fact that the homestay mother became very frustrated with my Japanese very quickly which resulted in almost total silence on my behalf during my three days with them. I spent most of Sunday morning learning to say "Because I have lots of homework, I'd like to return early to the dorm" perfectly in Japanese. The icing on the cake came after I uttered that phrase, when she told me that she had a gift for me. I though to myself, wow, maybe some redemption for this terrible weekend. The gift she gave me was one of her children's old, soiled books from when they were little. I mean WHAT THE F*CK? Who would think that some dirty old book would make a good present?

The only plus side was that I did get to return to the dorm early. immediately had a shower and washed everything I brought in to their cesspool of a house.

Take Care,
Lindsay