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"People always lie about sex - to get sex, during sex, after sex, about sex." - Larry Flynt Have you ever driven down the highway and mistakenly driven towards the centre line of the highway and ended up driving on the centre line grooves? You know, the ones that shake everything in the car and give you a quick thrill?Last week was an interesting week in the news. Oprah told us how to distinguish guys who are "just not that into us", a study was done on the effect homosexuality was having on birth rates, and Canwest News reported that more than one third of couples use toys in the bedroom. This was an entertaining week for sure. Where to start. Oprah, my favorite. A panel of men gave away their secrets on how to tell if a guy was really not all that interested in a woman. If a guy sleeps with you one night and doesn't call you for months after that- all signs pointing to negative. If a guy has been with you for the past 8 years and still doesn't want to commit- egad woman let go. Most excellent show. And even more excellent knowledge. Let me tell you- 6 simple words has never opened my eyes like they did while watching Oprah. "He's just not that into you". Next. OOoh.. This is an interesting Darwinian dilemma. I can see where this study might have had its merit. Sure, ladies getting it on with ladies and guys doing guys will for sure screw up the birth rate. And yah, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to tell you that the birth rate will fall. A team of top rate professors found that female maternal relatives of homosexual men seemed to have more children than female relatives of heterosexual men. There was no difference with female paternal relatives. This finding was based on about 4600 people in all. To sum it up: it implies that homosexuals should be more common in societies with declining birth rates. Yikes. And for the finale... Over one third of Canadian adults own sex toys. I am not sure how to take that actually. I was sent an entertaining joke the other day: There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the light. Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit. So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights. She looked down... and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated pleasure device... a vibrator! Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one. She went completely ballistic. "You impotent bastard," She screamed at him, "how could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!" The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly: "I'll explain the toy . . . you explain the kids." Funny eh? What was even better about this survey, is that 61% of the people who responded to the survey about their sex toy usage, were between the ages of 45-55, so that joke really wasn't too far off then, eh? A quarter of Canadians reportedly take photos and make videos of their acts. This number is however slightly behind the Brits and Danes. Canadians have also been proud to report of their sexual activity in a year: we have sex on average 108 days a year, (the global number is 103 and it ranges from the randy French (137) down to the repressed or maybe exhausted Japanese (46). Only 29% of Canadian adults do not use porn or toys or furry handcuffs which puts our love of bedroom technology ahead of the rest and ranks us amongst the top in the world. Durex reported the sexiest findings us ladies think about men: grey-haired, retired professor with no money over a rich young blond with a great body every time, as long as the professor had the right personality. Who ever completed that survey must have been old... that is not attractive to me. Maybe if I was over the age of 50- but by that time I am sure Brad Pitt and Mel Gibson will be about that. Canadians picked attitude ahead of everything. We find a great personality, humour, caring, and an all round stand-up person to be sexy. We find that to be better than youthfulness, wealth, and hair colour- even breasts! I love this freakin horny country. Posted by Bella at 10:21 PM# 0 Comments:
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