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The most wonderful time of the year. It's Office Christmas Party season again, it's time to let your hair down, run the boss' bar tab up, drown your inhibitions in expensive cocktails and generally do a bad job of walking the line between wild party animal and someone who's still employed tomorrow.What's the point of going to the office party? The next-day stories. And the key to a good next-day story is to perfectly walk that fine line between, "Star of the Party" and, "guy/gal who got canned the day after". So how do you guarantee your party stardom and be sure to avoid a pink slip? The foundation of it all is to maintain most of your composure at these events. Stay fairly sober, avoid being too rowdy and generally be pleasant. Once you have that in place, you can try any or all of these power play moves and start working building your status as Office Christmas Party Star: Only show as much skin as you're absolutely certain the boss wants to see. Don't bare your cleavage or wear suggestive clothing unless your boss has previously shown a sexual interest in you AND you have a typed statement authorizing a 15% raise in salary for yourself which you can get him to sign after he's had a little more to drink. Have a drink, but don't get drunk. It's enough to be seen carrying a drink. The boss feels like you're appreciating the free bar. Every now and then put your drink down and get another one. No more than three very different looking (and undrunken) drinks. If you really do get thirsty, grab a water. Meanwhile, bring everyone else a drink. Preferably doubles. Don't start up the gossip, but do point it out. If Bob from accounting is totally smashed and ragging on his supervisors, send as many people over to hear Bob as possible. You'll score points for finding the action, and Bob can go down in flames for the action. It's all good. Keep your ever-present unsipped drink in your left hand, but keep your right hand free for handshakes and the lukewarm half-hug. That drink is coming in handy isn't it? Nothing wards off amorous Roy from I.T. like the half-hug given by someone trying to make sure then don't spill their drink. Stand! The more people you can tower over with your statuesque beauty and regal poise (you did work out right?) the better they'll remember you. Besides, you're getting everyone else drunk on doubles and this is a game of last man/woman standing. If the bar is holding out on giving you drinks to bring around to friends, then be sure to bring plenty of rum or vodka to surreptitiously spike the eggnog bowl. Do conceal a tiny spy camera on your person to capture everyone's hilarious drunken antics for inclusion on the traditional "year in review" video shown to stockholders at the annual meeting. Posted by Bella at 6:02 PM# 1 Comments: Yay, that's brilliant! Sadly, my office christmas party is a potluck, and if there's any boozing, it'll be at a pubcrawl, sans boss. By
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