Editors note: Insert the word "girl" wherever I put the word "boy" if it applies to you and your, erm, preference. As well... this post is about past and future boyfriends, girlfriends, friends, family and dogs.
Too bad I wasn't a song writer- I would sure have some things to write between the lines about. It would be in the key of B. B flat actually, b flat for boy.
There is so much that can be hidden in song lyrics. Songs about being jaded and heart broken, torn to pieces and loved to bits.
Basic story though: Fall for a boy. Boy falls for you. Boy gets tired of you. Boy dumps you. Have bliss to end all bliss. Get back together with boy. You meet new boy. New boy's fun. Old boy stays in your mind and haunts you like a pair of stinky socks. Thoughts of becoming a lesbian enter your mind as boys become too difficult to deal with.
In relationships, I have found, you can give and give and give until it just doesn't mean anything anymore. The problem is with receiving, or rather in not receiving because they're not giving back. Giving back takes effort, care, and sometimes a few bucks. It's easier to be lazy, but laziness makes relationships go stale from all the one-sidedness. Things die off because the single giver can't keep it up. The fun dies off, the feelings run out of fuel, and in the interests of keeping their own heart from going stale too; it becomes time to move on.
One-sided relationships can be lonelier than singleness. I guess nothing in life was ever suppose to be easy, eh?
I think that you would experience less one-sided relationships if you were to look for different/additional qualities in boys than the ones you've been sticking with.
Not that I know a lot or anything... But how many times have I seen you hurt by the men you've chosen? 3? 4?
Hey! That's what dating is about. Figuring out what you really want, what is really important to you instead of what you think you want. There are no mistakes, only lessons. Typically we repeat the same lesson over and over and over again until we learn them. And then we move on to the next lesson.
I have dated a tonne of girls and over the years, as I learned through each experience, it got easier and easier to weed out the wrong girls. My friends and fam began to say that I was too picky cause I would know within a couple of dates whether I wanted to continue. But, I knew that the person "I choose" is the person "I choose", so I?d better choose wisely. Then after some time, thinking I?d never find what I really really wanted deep within my heart, I said screw it and began to focus on being happy and single. Over the last 4 years I became very happy as a single guy, with nothing tying me down, I could do what ever I wanted to,,, and so I did. I became emotionally self sufficient and very secure in who I am. It enabled me to develop and cultivate amazing friendships. I learned how to give and was able to give, into those friendships freely and happily with no expectations.
It was in one of these friendships that I found Love. Not only love, but love on an equal footing. Love that was ?evenly yoked? if you know what I mean. The relationship and love I found didn?t come through ?dating? in the traditional sense. It came through hanging out with a group of friends that I was for lack of a better word ?equal? with. I had no other agenda but to be a good friend to them. We mutually appreciated each other?s company, conversation, debate, concerns, laughter and input, as friends without any other expectations. We proved to each other that we were faithful friends long before anything else happened. We enjoyed hanging out, sharing dreams, laughing, going on adventures and challenging each other. We were able to trust each other with the secret details of our life with out fear. The loving relationship I am in now, developed through friendship. We earned each other?s trust and respect through the trials and tests that are evitable in friendship. It was really cool to ?know? what I was getting into. It?s amazing to be able to make a logical decision and to not only have feelings from the heart. I know I have chosen wisely and it?s better than I could have ever imagined.
Single people have the lowest divorce rates and the least arguments. They also get to set their own travel plans and can pick their own furniture and groceries.
